Survival Tips To Singleness

The idea to write this article has been on my mind for a few weeks now. So, instead of simply ignoring this itch I decided to finally write a few tips to help those of us struggling with singleness.

Some of these tips are spiritually healing for the soul while others are just good idea’s to help you breathe and laugh a little bit. Life can be crazy hard and walking through our struggles day in and day out can be even harder… With God’s grace, I have found these tips to be life-giving, spiritually refreshing, and on occasion even comical. 

Girl & Guy friends who are in this boat of singleness with me shout amen in the comment section below! I love you, I’m thinking about you and God’s grace is exquisitely resting upon you. 

This one’s just for you.

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1. Do something that brings you utter happiness! 

What is the one thing that inevitably makes your insides gitty with happiness? Yep, go do that! It could be anything from taking a hike, walking on the beach, drinking your favorite coffee, playing with your dog, riding a rollercoaster, writing, drawing, dancing, reading the Bible, making people laugh, going shopping. The list could go on and on of the endless possibilities of things that will put a smile on your beautiful face! Sweet friends, stop whatever you're doing for a few moments, and go do something that God gave you to enjoy. Life is hard and the struggle is real but look your eyes to Jesus and remember He is nothing but good and He is working on your behalf.   

2. Take a drive. 

I cannot begin to tell you how therapeutic it’s been for me to take a few minutes, get in my car alone, and take a drive. I have had more breakthroughs and healing moments in my car with the Lord Jesus than any other place. Turn on that worship music until God’s truth sinks deep down in your bones and every bit of your insides rejoice in the amazement and pure joy of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord! It’s in those moments of despair that you witness him awakening your heart once again and breathing a fresh wave of worship into your lungs. I have found in moments when painful tears are streaming down my eyes that God shows Himself to be most beautiful and radiant. He doesn't hide Himself when I’m in these moments, He shows Himself to be present in my situation. He reminds me of His love for me and undeniably puts a smile on my face because my joy comes from Him. It’s during these hard times that we have an opportunity to experience God sweetly and joyfully! You know it’s the Lord when nothing about your situation has changed but the Joy of the Lord is still better than receiving the answer to your prayers. 

3. Give yourself the freedom to be yourself. 

By this, I mean allow yourself the freedom to let yourself go. That maybe breakdancing in the kitchen while no one is home! I’m not going to lie, you don't want to see this girl dance in her house but every time I do it or every time I sing Tori Kelly and the top of my lungs it releases this free spirit in me. All of a sudden I appreciate who the Lord has made me and I don’t feel the constraints from society to fit in a man-made box because I wasn’t created by man I was created by God. Maybe for you, it’s allowing yourself to enjoy that piece of chocolate cake or enjoying a dance workout class instead of your normal intense and serious weight lifting class. Whatever it is, let yourself go and enjoy yourself. This mindset frees you up to embrace the wonderful person, that is you, that God is delightfully singing over every day. It also takes your eyes off the struggle and onto the blessings that surround you even as you walk through hard times. 

4. Get alone with God. 

This time looks so different for everyone. Like I explained above, my alone time with God is sitting in my car singing and blasting worship music. It’s writing scripture verses and jotting down my thoughts, hurts, prayers, and joyous moments in my journals. What does this look like for you? Maybe it’s in your car, maybe it’s in your backyard in the morning or late at night with a cup of something warm surrounded by God’s creation. Your place may even be in your bed all nice and snuggled up with your Bible as you write and take notes trying to catch and record everything the Lord is telling you. Whatever it is, go do that. I fully understand that our world is walking through a massive season of slowing down. So, take advantage of this time even if you don't feel like it. Remember, there is grace here not religion. We don’t have to spend time with God every day but we get to choose Him and spend time with Him. The moment we do, peace, reassurance, love, kindness, and forgiveness is what God freely indulges us with. This beats any Netflict’s beige watching or ice cream consumption, I promise. 

5. Grab your people. 

I cannot adequately express to you the number of people God had to place on my path for me to walk through this journey. When I look back, there is an undeniable hand of God bringing people into my life to encourage me and help me through this season. Honestly, without them, it sounds cliché but I sincerely wouldn't know where I would be. Who are your people? Who are your friends that speak truth, love, and encouragement over your dry bones? Who are the people in your life who make you laugh until you hurt or participate in funny silly things with you just to make you feel better? Who refreshes you in a new way that makes you love God all over again? My advice is to go grab those people and humbly ask them if you can talk about this struggle once more. Ask them for a hug and have a time of prayer together. If your struggle with singleness eats away at your heart like it does mine sometimes, then often you need to let out the frustration, tell somebody, cry on someone’s shoulder, and have a time of prayer with someone. The community God has given you are tools God has kindly blessed you with to not only survive this season but grow during this season. If you don’t know who your people are or if you don’t have people you can be real with, then take a few minutes and pray. God created us to live in community with Him first and foremost. He is our best friend or everything but still, he provided Adam with a companion. Why wouldn't He bestow the same gift to you if you asked Him? He will because He’s good and He loves you more than you can ever know. 

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I realize these tips were a little lengthy but it’s by these steps that God has brought me to where I am. In a sense, these steps represent my story and the testimony of God’s handprints gently and graciously guiding me along. In all these ways and more I have seen Him work. Dear ones if you are brokenhearted or walking through singleness today remember God sees you and is close to you. You’ve got this! 

Loving Enduringly, 

Lo

(Psalm 34:18) “The Lord is Near to the Brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” 

(John 14:1) “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; and believe also in me.”