Piano Lessons

This past Friday, as I was catching up on some work, I couldn't quite shake the feeling of sadness… Many of you have heard of the writer and speaker Hannah Brencher and the many ways she has massively encouragement countless people. As I listened to her brand new book titled "Fighting Forward," I thought to myself about my own fight that I've been fighting for years.

The tears started welling up as my mind begin to paint a picture that resembled my past. Experiences I'd never had came flooding back, and the pain of specific memories brushed across my heart like an all too familiar wind.

In an effort to hold myself together and remember the blessings all around me, my tears seemed to slow down, but my heart had checked out. A feeling similar to going through the motions and just putting your body on autopilot swept over me.

After sitting in my office for a while, I couldn't seem to concentration on the work in front of me. My heart was hurting, and my surroundings of loneliness just kept creeping in. I walked into our church's sanctuary, sat down at our grand black piano, and began to play.

I played a tune I have played for years. It's something I came up with years ago but can't ever seem to put words to or even add a key change too. As my fingers hit the only keys I knew, tears began rolling down my face. My fingers grazed across the keys while my heart continued to grieve.

Loneliness can become a massive battle to walk through. There are two sides to loneliness that God has seamlessly walked me through my whole life. Loneliness can undoubtedly break your heart and make you feel different or not good enough. However, loneliness can also create space in your life to know the Lord more, inspire you or even push you to be your own person, do your thing and live for the Lord with reckless abandonment. There are two sides to this battle, and it's fought by way of God's Word and perspective, so I've learned.

Before I found myself crying at the piano, the days before were wonderful. I was gleefully basking in the blessings God had recently given me. My dog and I were finally getting into a steady rhythm (Thank you, Jesus!) Side note I didn't realize having a dog was somewhat similar to having a child! So, heads up to anyone getting a new puppy!

My life wasn't perfect, but God was helping me see the beauty that was surrounding me. He allowed me to really see and remember once again that I was living in the very things I had prayed for months back. Finally, having my own apartment was and is such an answered prayer among many things He's given me.

My encouragement in all of this is reiterating a point many of us have heard before.

Life is never perfect.

One day you can feel Godly joy and be surrounded by His blessings, but then have a piano day. The days when what you've prayed for hasn't happened or the realization that the outcome won't be what you thought it would be. I'll be honest, that reality at times can come rushing back like a title wave ready to knock you down… and boy, it can knock you down..

The Lord encouraged me with this verse this week, and I pray it will encourage you and give you some perspective.

"My Son, give me your heart. And let your eyes observe my ways."

(Proverbs 23:26)

I've spent so much time observing the world and what I want in life that sometimes I forget to observe the pure and beautiful ways of the Lord.

Throughout my years of walking in singleness, I have learned time and time again the second, I give God my attention; it's like the sadness was never there. My heart is restored; my joy is restored my whole reason for loving and living for Jesus is renewed.

He is the kind of God we can entrust our heart to even if the way things are or the way things will be don't exactly match what we pictured.

God has poured His kindness on me this past week, and I just wanted to encourage any of you who may be struggling with accepting where God has you—or struggling with understanding what the Lord has planned for you.

My friend, I can't promise you'll receive everything you ever dreamed of, but what God does promise you is abundant life. (John 10:10) A real-life full of beauty, purpose, hope, freedom, joy, and a never unfailing love. This doesn't excuse the fact that life won't ever be disappointing or challenging, but God's word reassures us that He will always work things out for His Glory and our good. (Romans 8:28) God doesn't waste anything, and He's always bringing beauty from ashes.

You, my dear, are seen by God. Your life, whether it be interwoven with beauty and struggle, remains purposeful. I pray God would breathe a fresh desire into your heart to crave time with the Lord and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. May His truth enrich your soul with peace, purpose, and patience as you continue walking with Him throughout your life.

Loving Enduringly,

Lo